Here I recount a very raw experience in a very vulnerable way in the hopes that it will help you gain a deeper understanding of your own experiences and transformative processes.
I awoke, made my partner some coffee and sent him off to work. Right after he left, I began to think of what to do before work. I was looking around the apartment thinking of all the things there are to do and then I backed off and felt into it. What do I feel like right now? Meditation. That’s what I felt like. I wanted to meditate.
I continued to feel into my body asking it, what do you want to do? Crystals. I felt it. I went and got my crystals and felt into them. Rose quarts and Amethyst spoke loudly to me. I smiled, joy came over me for no reason. A grateful sort of joy. I was present in a moment of absolute synchronicity with myself and the energy around me; and yet I was playful.
I held onto my crystals, one hand cupped the other. I closed my eyes, cleared and protected myself and my space, then I focused on the crystals in my hands, feeling into the weight of them how they felt in my hand, on my skin. Each sensation took me a little deeper. Each breath brought understanding and play.
It came up again casually, joy and playfulness.
Tingling and spiraling the energy traveled up along my arms and reached my heart center. Green. All I see is a green center being surrounded by this energy. Slowly this tingling, spiraling energy becomes bright and sparkles fiercely. Everything becomes a bright white, I can’t see through it. I feel. What does it feel like? An image begins to form. A pond. A large pond filled with life and joy and playful creatures frolicking and playing. Birds are flying, squirrels are running up trees, leaping between branches. Fish swimming in the pond. Large Koi, each one beautiful and uniquely colored. The ground is covered in beautiful Kelly green grass, and as I look around I see wild flowers everywhere in all shapes, and colors. Each color radiant and intense. Colors here were alive, every color vibrating on its own and yet they all worked perfectly and effortlessly together. I was here in the middle of it all, witnessing every moment, taking it all in. Every sensation, every experience, and a deep gratitude overwhelmed me. Realization hit me lovingly and softly. This, is my ability to give and receive love. It is abundant. There is so much. I will never run out. I opened my heart wide. I found paradise within. I was home.
Tingling called my attention, the energy was moving again. This time it made its way up slowly, gracefully, effortlessly past my truth center (throat), tingling and activating this area as it moved through it. It kept moving, past my wisdom/knowledge center (third eye), leaving an active tickle as it moved through and reached my crown, my connection to divine.
Here the energy settled, it began to pool and fill this center. It tickled and vibrated, I felt the urge to scratch or rub the top of my head. I knew better; took a few breaths right into it and let it go. I trusted the flow of joyful, playful energy that was filling me up. Then, suddenly my divine center overflowed in the form of beautiful, sparkling, white fireworks. I was in awe of the spectacle I was witnessing. The space filled with a light so intense and yet soft and easy to look at. I watched the fireworks blow up and turn into sparkling white light and then fall gingerly coating and covering me and my space. It felt peaceful and abundant. That deep gratitude came back, I honored it. I noted a difference, this is more than gratitude, this is surrender. I felt it. The freedom of surrender. Intense, beautiful and undeniable. I realized and accepted what freedom is to me. Freedom is surrendering to and trusting my path. I accepted this and moved into the sparkling white light. I became the light. I am receptive to my own potential. I surrender. I trust. I found peace.
Moving, traveling a little faster now, the energy settles in my wisdom/knowledge center. Lavender, I smile, I love this color, it brings me joy. The energy starts to gather, brightening the lavender until it becomes a bright sparkling white. Filling up every last lavender inch and stretching this center, it feels as if I’ve put my finger right on it. There’s some pressure as the energy swirls. The swirling begins to change and I can see the bright white separating from the sparkles; the sparkles begin to turn lavender. I breathe deeply and release allowing myself to relax on the out breath and then the center implodes and I see it, a star; then there are many stars. I look around. I’m in space floating, starring into space. Witnessing, reflecting, then I’m stunned. Realization, each star is a wisdom. This is my inner wisdom. Ancient wisdom is everywhere and accessible to all if we take to time to look inside ourselves and explore the knowledge that we hold. My center expanded, I accepted the expansion. I learned that every past, present, and future wisdom is available to me, within me and because of this there is no need to “know” anything. I can simply be. I remembered who I am. I found limitlessness.
Without hesitation the energy began moving again stopping where it reached my truth center (throat). Almost immediately this center glowed the most breath taking blue I’ve ever seen. The edges glowed a sparkling white that slowly grew into the center and took over the blue until it was completely white, bright, clear, and sparkling. The skin there felt warm and cool at the same time as if the energy was purging away anything that was clouding or corrupting my truth. Then I saw it, from within the light. There was an ocean. The waves were loud and active, the air smelled refreshingly salty, the sun was bright and strong but it didn’t burn, and the sand was perfectly warm on top and cool when I sunk my feet into it. There was a mermaid hovering over the water, bringing everything together, moving her body with the flow of the ocean and air. In the process she was showing me purpose. Her purpose. To facilitate the continued flow of truth. I bowed my head. I thanked her. She was me. I found purpose. To honor my truth. To live my truth.
There’s a moment of stillness, I take a deep breath and release it relaxing further. The energy shifted, it came back to my heart, I felt it for a moment and then we were at my worth/will center (solar plexus).
As the energy began to pool here it felt hot. It began to swirl and sparkle more fiercely than the other centers and it was cooling in the process. I felt wetness on my face. I was crying. When did I start crying? Taking a deep breath I looked into the center, I was breathless. It was the most overwhelmingly beautiful field of wild sunflowers. As I looked around I notice that they are all so tall and amazingly yellow. There’s a stream nearby except the water here seems more like liquid gold and the energy is strong here. Everything seemed to be sun kissed and sparkling. Even the dew drops on the leaves seems to be reflecting the sun intensely. Running. I was running into the field letting the grass and flowers brush my skin leaving trails of this amazing glowing, pulsating energy on my skin. Goosebumps. My skin was feeling goosebumps and yet I continued to cry. I looked at myself, I was child. A version of me that had been lost in the hardship of my life and hidden behind that version of me that functioned to survive. I found my inner child she was happy to see me, to be me, to be free. Here I reconnected with a part of my soul that I thought was lost to me. I realized that the tears were of joy and that somehow my body knew all of this before I was able to comprehend what was going on. I found myself ready and willing to step into my mastery. The wisdom of my body. I found presence. I am here.
The energy became lighter and brighter, as if it were now vibrating at a higher frequency than before. It moved, the sensations were stronger, the crying continued. The energy reached my sexual/creative center (sacral chakra). Here the energy seemed to take longer to pool. I began to feel it. It felt heavy and thick. My repressed femininity, coming up strongly. Repressed desires to start a family, to create life. Repressed desires to explore my sexuality on a deeper level. I wanted to stop. I wanted to look away. I couldn’t, I immediately began to forgive myself. I forgave myself for repressing this amazing part of my being. I noticed that as I was doing that, the energy began to swirl rapidly purging my center of old beliefs about myself and making way for the new. Renewed, this center glowed strongly and intensely. There was a fire. Nothing else, just a fire in the middle of a vast emptiness. I could see all the colors in this fire, and as I relaxed my gaze I could see the energy infusing this fire making it sparkle. I felt its purifying effects. Suddenly, as if struck by a ray of understanding, I got it. I understood why the fire was in a vast nothingness. This was the void of creation, the vast no-thing from which all life is created. It’s within me, I am it. I reconnected with my femininity. I found a spark of creativity within myself that I was unaware of. I am renewed. I am woman. I am creation.
Shifting, moving, wrestling. The energy found its way to my fear/passion center (root chakra). Here the energy began to pool, this time it was different, it didn’t just flow in straight from the previous center, here it was pooling from all centers bringing in all these different energies and playfully swirling them into perfect alignment. Suddenly I felt overwhelmed, I took a deep breath acknowledged this feeling and relaxed on the out breath. I felt into it. It stopped. The energy continued to pool but there as no swirling. Everything felt heavy and light at the same time as if there was some form of energetic push and pull. Again I took a deep breath looked into the center and relaxed on the out breath. Amazing this center was now sprouting roots at the bottom. Almost as immediately as I noticed them, they shot downward taking me through layers of wood, cement, stones, and many layers of dirt until we came to a sudden stop. The earth here was unpopulated, virgin, Kelley green grass all around and one single tree. Massive and powerful. I could see where the roots of my energy became the roots of this tree. I realized I am divinely guided and protected on this path and it is therefore safe for me to continue to move forward and master myself. I am safe. I am supported. I am grounded.
I was mesmerized by the beautiful pulsating red sparkling energy all around the tree; lost in the realization that this majestic and powerful place exists within me. Then I felt it. The energy shifted. It went back up, passing through each center reactivating them as it passed reaching the top of my head and then, it pushed up. It felt like a small pop. I thought of bubble wrap. They way it feels when it pops between your fingers. I smiled. I love bubble wrap.
Hovering, there was an energy center hovering over my crown. Bright and silver. It was sparkling and pulsating, twirling and spinning. I felt high and light. This energy was new to me a higher frequency. I took a deep breath allowed myself to adjust to it and trusted the flow of joyful, playful energy that was filling me up. Gratitude. I was grateful and happy. I felt whole, connected and embraced. I felt it like receiving a hug from this playful energy. I sat with it, breathing, still, receptive. It’s me. Have I connected to my higher self? Wholeness I felt it again. I cried. I’ve never felt so complete. I said thank you. I felt honored. Realization, I am connected to higher self/consciousness, I am whole at all times, I am complete in my truth and passion.
I sat with that feeling a little longer accepting it, integrating it. Familiarizing myself with the intensity of the wholeness that I felt in that moment. I was surprised, I had a feeling, then I heard it. Mastery. I’m entering the mastery stage of my life and my work. I accept. I am proud.
Feeling myself in this new awareness and frequency I became very aware that there are planets and stars all shifting as this energy shifts within me. I became very aware that I am not only one receiving this form of divine activation. I am not the only one stepping into my own self mastery. I am one of many.
Almost as immediately I had accepted this, the energy then shifted again below the heart center and over my worth/will center. Swirling and sparkling, the energy moved rapidly, flashes of energy began to ricochet and bounce away getting further each time, moving further up and down my centers connecting the energy here. Again there was a deep feeling of wholeness and connectedness, but it was different this time. Stronger, lighter, faster, the energy kept moving taking form now, it looked to me to be a figure 8 connecting all my centers flowing infinitely into and through one another in such a way as to keep each other balanced and pure. I was in awe. Is this real? I have found yet another new center. I feel blessed. I understood immediately what was happening. Why this center has been activated. Dissolve. I heard it. This center dissolves the “things” that create the illusion of separateness. This activation dissolves the space between my physical and spiritual self allowing me to effortlessly flow with life and purpose as is, and let go of all else. Deep understanding is cultivated here. Cosmic understanding, energetic understanding, understanding of the self and of others. Here it felt like the the place where all the lessons of all other centers come to play and learn from one another. Realization, this is true freedom of the soul.
The energy still moving, playing and twirling now moved outside of me still flowing in a giant figure 8 interacting with and including the silver center above my crown. In this area above my crown the energy was unsteady, shifting, bouncing moving further outward. At the same time my feet felt heavy my root chakra felt hot and active, I intentionally re-grounded my energy and as a result the energy above and outside of me became clam and flowed gently. I took a closer look. About 9 inches from the new silver center there was another center with an energy tail directly connected to the new center between my heart and will/worth centers. I accepted it. I understood it. I took a breath. These centers are one and the same and this is the way in which it serves me best at this time of inner evolution.
I felt the energy embracing me. I felt myself accepting the embrace the way you hold an old friend after a lengthy separation. Wholeness. I felt it again, I felt whole and complete and also somewhat powerful. So much energy flowing through me pulsating, vibrating, shifting. I took another look at all my energy centers appreciating them fully and appreciating the bits and pieces of myself that they each represented. I reached the new center, watched it as the energy flowed effortlessly between that center and the one between my chakras connecting and healing me fully as it infused the whole of my energy with this healing frequency.
That center expanded. The energy gathered there with tremendous force. I physically felt all the energy charge upward. Suddenly, the top center became intensely bright. In the brightness I could see it sparkle with energy, swirling fast and hard, I could see it’s core. It was a magnificent, sparkling spiral it thickened then it stopped and the energy dropped full force grounding me and connecting me to earth in an instant. Looking down now past my root chakra. My tenth chakra now active. Woods, I’m in the woods with deer, wolves, owls, foxes all of these creatures living harmoniously as one. They stared at me. I looked up, the moon was full and intensely bright. I felt it the connection to animal kingdom and nature. A relationship I have been cultivating for 11yrs. A shift it’s happening, changes in the way I interact with this kingdom. It’s ok, a fear/guilt was released. I can move forward. It’s just change not separation for there is no such thing. I found passion and creativity. I found support. Earth, animal kingdom, and humanity are one within me.
I laid back, starring at the moon. I closed my eyes and could feel the energy surrounding me. It brought me peace. I was calm. I felt new. Everything was fresh. Nothing will ever be the same and it shouldn’t, because now I know better. I felt within me a deep desire to share this healing, purifying energy with anyone whom needed it. Anyone who needs a little hope.
Almost as if by my command the energy began gathering at my hands and feet bursting through those energy centers in the form of beautiful pink sparkling butterflies leaving trails of sparkling pink energy wherever they went and disappearing into the energy of the world. This moved me so deeply I began to cry again. The meditation was now complete and yet I was crying because this frequency shift, has many levels and I was extremely grateful for the experience. This deepened the commitments I have made to myself. I am whole. I am complete. I am perfectly guided on my divine path. Therefore I am in full mastery of self.
It is my scared duty to live in authenticity with myself.
Wishing you love,joy and abundance,